lobsterchick's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I AM NOT DRUNK! "I am not drunk. Whitney will tell you I am drunk, but I am not. You don't listen to her. Okay, I'm a little under the influence. So the RAs don't find out and kick me out of the dorm, I'm going to make up a code for it. The code is... 'I've got.... the eeeyyyyyeeeee.' I for 'influence,' get it?" Let this be a lesson to all of you. That's what happens when you mix Grape Pucker, 7Up, and a girl who has never even so much as sipped any of her parents' wine. That and purple vomit. And uncalled-for acts of mooning. And renditions of "The Greatest Love of All" sung from a second-floor dorm window to a guy below who is carrying a bag of Hawaiian shirts. No, really, he was. I was drunk, not dropping acid. According to Deadsoon, I am the worst kind of drunk there is, the drunk who refuses to admit she's drunk. Unlike Marie, I have been fully aware of my allergy to alcohol since the first night I sat in Emily's room, and after having taken one sip, yelled, "I can't feel my arms! Where did my arms go?" So I don't drink (ha). And I never ever get drunk (double ha). Because that would be ridiculous behavior for someone who knows she's allergic to booze. But sometimes I'm let off my leash, and I find myself in a place where drunkenness is not only encouraged, but is entertaining to others. And there's nothing I enjoy more than whoring out my brain cells and self-respect for a few laughs. And that's where I got the nickname "One-Gulp Sandy." In my defense, those apple martinis are tiny! When I'm drunk, I write notes. They say things like, "I am not drunk, and Lo-Ran [Lauren] had better the hell quit drinking all my stuff because she's a cheap-ass. And now she's saying I'm a mean drunk, but I'm NOT DRUNK," and "One-Gulp Sandy. That's my porn name. Come and get me, Dan." I do this so my friends don't have to rely on their memories for blackmail fodder. I am such a good friend that I want to make sure they have something good and solid to extort me with. So I don't drink anymore, because it gets a little more than embarrassing. Okay, that's a total lie. I totally drink, but I don't write. Much. Just a few words. For more on drunkenness, check out Marie. 8:05 AM - 17 July 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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