lobsterchick's Diaryland Diary


Feel Me When I Bring It

I was going to write a long tear-jerking entry, but I was boring even myself, so I'll leave it at this:

I got a bunch of pictures of my dad recently, and I was reminded of two things: To him, if you were funny, nothing else mattered, and he always said, "Anything worth doing is worth doing well." So, this diary is going to be funnier, and better. Coming this week.

8:50 PM - 22 August 2005


Gimme A Break, I Sure Deserve It

I'm not begging you guys to ask me to stay, but my stats have been in steady decline to the point where less than 30 people read me each day, and probably a good 20 of those hits come from people who got here through my overheardintheoffice.com masthead. So there are 10 regulars, two of whom I'm pretty sure are my friends, and have a vested interest in what I post here. So that's eight people who don't know me, who read this blog every day for its supposed entertainment value. It's not that I don't appreciate you, but is it worth it to write for an audience of 8? I don't know.

8:42 AM - 19 August 2005


Grizzly Man

I just got home from seeing Grizzly Man and, holy crap, if you get a chance, definitely see it. If nothing else, Werner Herzog is the master of holding the shot on an interview subject for about 10 seconds too long, creating a totally uncomfortable mood.

If you don't know, it's a documentary about this guy, Timothy Treadwell, who lives among grizzlies in Alaska and ends up, of course, getting himself killed.

You wouldn't think you could laugh so much at a movie with such a seemingly sober subject matter, but you can't help yourself. You laugh at almost everyone in the movie, but you feel uncomfortable while doing it. I don't think I've ever felt that from a movie before.

It's not like a movie where someone's retarded, and they're played for a joke. Treadwell was obviously bipolar, and Herzog showed that, but not in a mean way. He just showed it. It was Treadwell and the new-age, college-theater hippies he surrounded himself with that prompted laughter. A review said that this is what it would be like if Andy Dick went to the Alaskan wilds, and it's so true.

See it, and don't feel bad about laughing to tears at the woman talking about her stint working at a Medieval-Times-type place. You can't even say "Medieval Times" without laughing. Try it.

11:02 PM - 18 August 2005


Note To Self:

Don't make hair color decisions based on your new eyeliner look. Also, do not trust the box that says "Medium Brown."

12:49 AM - 16 August 2005



First of all, to understand the complete comedy of this, you have to know my mom. She is world-renowned for statements like, "Once that old sun goes down, it gets cold out," and, upon getting into a cold car, "Ohhhhhhh sucker!" That's just a thumbnail sketch, but you get the idea. My mom's a little... insane.

My sister was recapping a near-incident in the fitting room of JC Penney involving a woman busting into the cubicle of another woman.

The offended woman said "You know, when the door is closed, it usually means someone's in there."

"Well," the other woman replied, "usually when someone's in there, the door is locked."

"These doors don't lock!"

Before she could get any further, my mother (in her second failed attempt at being hip that day, the first one involving ill-advised use of the phrase "bling bling") said, "Oooooh! Catfish!"

My sister, my niece, and I just lost it. We started cracking up, and after a second, realizing what she said, my mom laughed along with us. We spent the next five or so minutes making fun, being like "Salamander!" "Three-toed sloth!" and so forth.

My mom found her slip so hilarious she thought she'd instant-replay it for us, except she couldn't even get her mistake right. This time? It was "Oooooh! Fishfight!"

By this time we were home, and I had an immediate date with the bathroom, lest I pee my pants.

12:45 PM - 15 August 2005


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