lobsterchick's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Growing Up For a long time I felt like my life was stagnant. In addition to making no outward changes (i.e., getting married, getting a degree, having children, etc.) I felt like I wasn't changing inside. In about the past six months, I've been feeling myself slowly change. It's kind of nice. First of all, I'm angrier with the government and the general workings of it than I ever have been in my life. Of course, George W. Bush has a lot to do with it, but a lot of the things I'm fed up with can't be blamed on him alone, as much as I've tried. I want to change FCC policy, and expand reproductive care for women. I want every child to be educated, and I want people to stop being afraid because the powers that be decide to arbitrarily declare a heightened terror threat. I've finally decided that I want all of these things enough to get involved, and the first thing I'm doing is volunteering for Planned Parenthood. Yay! Secondly, I bought a skirt today. I know it may sound small to you, but because of my depression, I've always had a hard time getting geared up about my appearance. I still prefer t-shirts and jeans, but I was going to wear this fancy gauzy blouse I have and grey pants to a wedding tomorrow night. The fact that I bought a skirt, and even more shocking, a pair of adorable, uncomfortable shoes to go with them is like a whole new horizon being cracked open in front of me. Carrie Bradshaw would be proud. And thirdly, I'm thinking (just thinking right now) of going back to school to get my degree in biology. If I do this, it will be an almost 180-degree turn from everything I've ever worked toward in school. But the other day I heard a radio commercial for UMSL's Biology program, and something just went off in my head. I took a Bio class a few years ago to fulfill a lab science requirement, and much to my dismay, I ended up with the hardest professor at the school. It turned out to be one of the best experiences I've ever had, and not only did I get an A in the class, I absolutely loved it. I loved everything about it; the lectures, the labs, what I learned... And this, with a professor with absolutely no idea how to get a class's attention. I think that's important, because it's easy to love a class when a professor is engaging and charismatic, and I think that sometimes that can lead people into thinking they love the subject when they really just loved the teacher. But if I could love Bio even after Dr. Thomas, then I think that's a foundation to build on. It's definitely something worth thinking about. Can you believe it? I'm growin' up! 9:04 PM - 29 April 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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