lobsterchick's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Vinegar Lobby I fully realize that the following confession could get me carted off by the men with white jackets and butterfly nets, or even worse, John Ashcroft. But I'm so very sure of it, that I will risk sounding crazy, and quite possibly in violation of the Patriot Act. I think I've stumbled into an underground ring consisting mainly of vinegar lobbyists. Now, before you start laughing, listen to my evidence. I have of late, been a big fan of fast food salads. They're every bit as easy and convenient as a Big Mac or Whopper, and quite a bit less artery-clogging. So, last night, I go through the DT (as we, uh, frequenters of the fast food joints call it) at McDonald's, and ask for the California Cobb with Grilled Chicken, and Ranch dressing. Then I get to the window, and I get into this long, convoluted conversation with the moron at the window about whether or not my ranch dressing is in the price of my salad, or I have to purchase it separately. We finally established that the dressing came with the salad, and thank God I didn't pay for it because it wasn't even ranch! It was creamy vinaigrette. See the word "vinaigre" in there? That's French for "vinegar." Remember that. And then today, I went to the Burger King across the street from my work (yes, I drove. It's a five-lane road, suicide lane included, it's 500 degrees outside, and I don't have time for that shit. Quit judging) and ordered the grilled chicken garden salad. With ranch. Ranchy ranch ranch. I love ranch. I thought, They couldn't have fucked it up here, too, right? Wrong! Vinegar pepper bleh crap! I mean, two different fast food places, not even the same chain, three miles from each other. This is not a coincidence. Someone out there is seeing that I don't like vinegar, and they are not happy. 10:45 PM - 14 July 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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