lobsterchick's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- All About the Mental Case Seriously, who goes on Google searching for "pickle up the ass"? I'm sure it speaks volumes about the quality of the content of my diary that those wacko searches invariably end here. I'm almost through with my current edit of my NaNoWriMo manuscript. This is a question for anyone who writes and is reading this: Do you feel like everything you write sucks? Or is it just me? Does this book stink, or am I just suffering from self-as-worst-critic-itis? Oh, how would you know? You've never even read this piece of crap. Hopefully, though, one day you will. Hopefully you will hold the book in your hands and rejoice that you have found the book that will be your favorite for the rest of your days. Or you can use it to balance out a wobbly desk. I'm not particular. Just don't tell me about it. T minus thirteen hours that I get to go to the doctor and find out that either a) I have high blood pressure b) I'm having tension headaches c) my pain is psychosomatic or d) I have a giant brain tumor that is like a hand crushing my head. Seriously, I am so terrified that I'm dying. But not terrified enough to make an appointment before today, apparently. Seriously, I am one of those people who is like, "If I have AIDS, I don't want to know about it." I know it's irrational, and I know that it's downright stupid. I think it mostly stems from not having health insurance. If I ever do get it again, I'll be at the doctor every damn day being all, "I have a hangnail. Does this look infected?" I'll want to know about every single process that happens in my body. Until then, though, I really can't afford any medication, and I'm even gonna have to skip out on the bill at my doctor's visit tomorrow (I'll pay it when I get the bill, but a little creative exiting will spare me from having to fork over forty bucks on the spot). On the other hand, I hope there actually is something wrong with me, because if there isn't, and I get some lame-ass diagnosis like "tension," I'm going to feel like a colossal ass. Hey, maybe that's my problem. It doesn't sound good, does it? 1:39 AM - 24 February 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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