lobsterchick's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- \"Th@ D*wn L*w\" Sharon just mentioned to me the other day that she can't stand those commercials for the "Fired Up" compilation CD, because they're all songs she hates. The CD is in fact made up entirely of mid- to late-nineties "club" music that was heavily rotated on the radio. I can feel her pain, but the commercial I hate the most is the one for "Th@ D*wn L*w." The first song they play on the commercal is "I'm Going Down" by Mary J. Blige, and the announcer's all, "Ohhhhh yeeeeeahhhh [he's a soulful Kool-Aid Man], these are songs for when you wanna... go down." Cue neverending sexual innuendos. Except for one thing: "I'M GOING DOWN" IS IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM ABOUT ORAL SEX. IT'S ABOUT BEING LOW BECAUSE YOUR MAN ISN'T AROUND. Tell that to SKAM, though, 'cause he's determined to make it about sex. As far as I can tell, though, the bulk of the songs on this CD are about sex (Oh, no wait, they have "All My Life," by K-Ci and JoJo, a song I hate with the fire of a thousand white-hot suns, but which is not about sex. Okay, wait a minute, hardly any of these songs are about sex), and apparently, "keepin' it on th@ d*wn l*w." Here's a little snippet from the website: Are you trying to keep it on the d*wn l*w? Then make sure you do with 30 smooth tracks on Th@ D*wn L*w! Featuring Mary J. Blige, K-Ci & Jojo, Blackstreet, Boyz II Men, and much much more! Get Th@ D*wn L*w today, because no one has to know! Um, yeah. I'm all for discretion, I guess, but if someone was fucking me, and wanted to "keep it on th@ d*wn l*w," I'd get suspicious. Is he married? Does he not think I'm hot and doesn't want people to know we're "together"? What is wrong with him? What is wrong with me? Why did he order this CD? Okay, breathing deep now. Hey, wait. All the customer "reviews" on this page are for other CDs. Bwah! They don't think I'll notice. Just like he didn't think I'd notice his never taking me out in public. Oh, wait. Hold on. I forgot, this guy doesn't even exist. Except for in the commercial. And shame on him there. 11:06 PM - 16 January 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||