lobsterchick's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Kirstie Alley Is Too Fat for Sex! I saw that headline on some rag at Wal-Mart today. Replace "Kirstie Alley" with "Sandy," and you have my visit to Planned Parenthood Friday. There were no picketing old women as BT had warned me about, but the door to the examination area was locked. Good practice, I would venture. I sat in the lobby with BT, who is such an awesome friend for being my moral support, and chattered incessantly. I have never been so nervous that I did that talking too fast about anything thing. Usually I get quiet and nauseous. Well, I was nauseous, but I couldn't keep my trap shut. Jesus. BT was very patient with me, until she brought up how she didn't like the pamphlets they had since they were solid colored and very intimidating. She liked her pamphlets with smiling people on them. I agreed, smiled, and said, "I have syphilis!" Then I shut up. Anyway, I got myself all dolled up in the paper "vest" and the lap sheet and waited for the nurse practitioner, who came in and gave me a breast and pelvic exam. She was super nice, commended me for the fact that I've never had sex without a condom, and told me that my periods are so wacko because I'm a tub. Apparently a certain type of estrogen is stored in fat cells, and it's all gathered in my uterus and that makes me bleed all crazy-like. I've got a fat uterus. Hurrah. To add insult to injury, my blood pressure was high, so I couldn't go on the pill. I'm fucking 26 years old and have high blood pressure. So I'm online right now buying Richard Simmons' "Disco Sweat," and even though lately for the most part I've been eating pretty good and drinking tons of water, I'm "stepping it up a notch" as they might say on any given reality show. Now I'm too depressed to even have sex. 10:54 PM - 20 November 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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