lobsterchick's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mean Girls I know it probably doesn't seem like it here, but I'm kind of a shy and standoffish person. It takes me forever to make friends. Like, I've been at this job for eight months, and I just started getting close to people a couple of months ago. I think I'm afraid of rejection, that if I share too much I'll get rebuffed, or if I ask people questions about themselves, they'll think I'm nosy and prying. It's quite a situation. Anywho, I've started hanging out with people outside of work, and it's fun. It's nice. I'd almost forgotten what it was like not only to have a big group of friends, but actual different groups of friends. When I think about the pickle we have going now, I think back to about two months ago, when Dina came up to me and told me that Julienne was nice, and she liked her, but that Julienne wanted more of her time than she could give. "She's always calling me, and I'm really busy." Which she was, and still is. She's in grad school and working part-time; no small feat. Anywho, since the two of them were better friends than I was with either of them, I listened sympathetically, a neutral third-party sounding board. Then I became friends with Colleen, our cashier (do I need to draw you a map?). She and I planned to go see Mean Girls (of all movies) last week, and she innocently brought it up in front of some other people, one of whom was Julienne. In record time, Julienne had invited herself, which was no biggie. It was just a movie, and I mean, it's not like you talk to each other during the movie. Except Julienne does. Like, not to me. To the characters. Loudly, and irritatingly. But whatever, lesson learned: Don't go to the movies with Julienne. During this time, Dina and I make a bet about the outcome of Friends. Since Julienne was in the car with us, she invited herself into the bet, taking a long-shot position so far off the map that even she found it laughable. (Like Ross and Rachel wouldn't end up together! Chuh!) But I guess to her, being in and dumb was better than being out. So, Thursday night rolls around, and after a lengthy diatribe about how unbearably, broilingly, seven-inches-from-the-midday-sun hot her apartment is, Julienne asks me if I want to watch the Friends finale after work with her. I kind of laughed, and, feeling bitchy, said, "Yes. I want to go sweat it out with you in your hotbox." Then laughed it off (sort of) and apologized. I felt mean. Later on, Julienne made the big hike up to my bar on the third floor to let me know that she and Dina were watching Friends at Dina's house, would I like to come too? Sure. So we watched Friends, and it was Mean Girls all over again, with Julienne just not shutting up. It made me increasingly uncomfortable, and I could sense Dina getting pissed, but the evening passed without confrontation. As we were leaving, Dina reminded me that she owed me a drink, and that I'd get it Saturday night. I could feel Julienne bristle as she said she wouldn't be going out with us. The only reason she wasn't going out is because she wasn't working! She asked off! We were going out after work! She had plans! We weren't even excluding her and she was pouting! Gah! So Saturday rolled around, and Dina mentioned that she had to go to Target after lunch. I had to go buy my mom's Mother's Day gift as well, so we dragged Colleen with us and made a trek to Target. That's where things start to get sketchy. It all starts with, "I like Julienne, but..." and then, it's verbal diarrhea. The three of us bonded over things we didn't like about her, and once you mention something, you start thinking of other things that rankled, and suddenly everyone's standing around a big steaming pile of gossip feeling ashamed, but that doesn't stop you. Unlike the movie Mean Girls, I actually like the girls that I'm mean with. I just hate us when we act like this. I tried being nice to Julienne today, but our boss, Amy, put Dina and me at the same bar, so I know Dina got a talking-to in the car pool on the way home. Dina and I laugh a lot when we're together, because we both have a mean sense of humor, and I imagine Julienne sitting on the other side of the lobby, feeling self-conscious. And I am filled with shame. How did I get to be this person? 11:15 PM - 09 May 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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