lobsterchick's Diaryland Diary


Reproductive Sideshow

I don't have internet access at home until Tuesday. I'm going a little nuts.

Yesterday I found out that I have polycystic ovarian syndrom, or PCO. Eventually I'm going to have to take the pill and a diabetic drug because, even though I'm not diabetic, the build-up of estrogen in my body makes my body cling to insulin like a life raft and my body acts diabetic.

Yesterday, also, my sister miscarried and found out that she has a clotting disorder.

"Why do we have these problems?" she asked me.

I shrugged. "We're a reproductive sideshow, I guess."

The thing is, my disease (syndrome, whatever) might make it difficult to impossible to have children, and that sucks, but the treatment should relieve some of that. Also, my biggest problem right now is the fact that I went to Planned Parenthood in November for this same thing (the irregular, non-stop bleeding), and not only did I not see a doctor, but the nurse practitioner who examined me told me I was bleeding like crazy because I was fat.

I've heard of such things before, so I took her word as law, and spent the next 6 months blaming myself and my inability to lose weight for the maddening, stressful ordeal I endured almost without respite.

Then I got insurance, went to a real OB-GYN, and I barely had the words "I bleed all the time" out of my mouth when he nodded and said, "It's PCO." Of course, he did a pelvic and ran blood tests, but by today, less than 24 hours after the appointment that I kept putting off (do you know how hard it is to schedule an OB-GYN appointment when you have no idea when you're going to stop bleeding, or if, thank GOD, you're not right then, you know it could start up any minute?), he had a confirmed diagnosis. PCO. Not FAT. And, as a kicker, the PCO makes it very difficult to lose weight, because of the insulin thing.

So fuck you, Planned Parenthood. I'm about to fire off a very angry letter to you here, because yeah, I know that you run on limited funds. I get it. But you are supposed to be a resource for women (and, yes, men) who have no other resources. Who have no money to spend on their reproductive health. You're not just a birth control pill mill or a condom hand-out stand. The mission statement on your website says this:

Planned Parenthood believes in the fundamental right of each individual, throughout the world, to manage his or her fertility, regardless of the individual's income, marital status, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, age, national origin, or residence. We believe that respect and value for diversity in all aspects of our organization are essential to our well-being. We believe that reproductive self-determination must be voluntary and preserve the individual's right to privacy. We further believe that such self-determination will contribute to an enhancement of the quality of life, strong family relationships, and population stability.

But that's not true. In fact, it's complete bullshit. I walked in, you saw "fat," and without regard for what I was telling you, you thought "fat," and you diagnosed "fat." What if I had some other, more horrible disease, one that was fatal? What if I wasn't just bleeding, but passing away every single last bit of my reproductive health? I guess I would have died of being fat then.

I'm a liberal Democrat. Always have been, since I was old enough to have some inkling of what was going on, and, for the foreseeable future, will continue to be. But for all the services you offer to other people who needs them (I assume this is the case, since if you didn't, there are enough people who want you shut down that you would not still exist), you failed me. You failed me big time, and I will make sure that everyone I know hears about it.

Oh, and I want my $120 back. Sliding scale, my fat fat ass.

12:25 PM - 13 May 2005


previous - next

latest entry

about me





random entry

other diaries: