lobsterchick's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Turkey for Me, a Turkey for You I have been going through scads of pictures for the video my sisters and I are creating for my mother's "surprise" 60th birthday party. The quotes are there because we have a pool going about which one of us will fuck up first and tell her about it. At any rate, I've been noticing a trend. If there is a picture that was taken on a holiday (most notably Easter or Christmas, but Fourth of July and Memorial Day are tossed in occasionally for good measure), it will feature two or more people, either posed or unposed, in what would be an awesome shot if not FOR THE PRODUCT PLACEMENTS. I swear it. Like, if I were putting captions on these, it would be like, "Karin and Dad say 'Mmmm, turkey!' Sponsored by the American Turkey Council." Like, AN ENTIRE TURKEY. Which I don't get at all, because unlike on sitcoms, my family has never sat down at the table and watched anyone carve anything. My dad or mom have always hacked into the beast hours before dinner. So I don't know what the turkey was doing there. There is also, "Mike and Joe enjoy Diet Dr. Pepper while they play chess." Like, the Diet Dr. Pepper bottle is the focus of the picture. There has to be one person who takes these pictures and doesn't realize he or she is doing it. So if you're an ad exec for comically big blocks of cheese, various and sundry bottles of soda, or, well, turkey, give me a call. I have some great shots you can use. Last night was what we hope will be the last night of recording for the play DS wrote. I suffered two great indignities while I was there, despite having a really "on" night, comedy-wise. Usually I'll sit in the corner, quipping and zinging, and all the guys ignore me, but last night there was actual laughter. See, I'm the only girl lead in the production. Most of my time in this process has been spent with DS, Doug, Miko, and Dan. Who, with the exception of Dan, think they're hilaaaaaarious. And who also have a hard time believing girls can be funny. Even though I am. The first incident happened when this girl, Marielle, came to record the title. She was there for maybe twenty minutes, and the guys just fell all over themselves, flirting and catering. After she left there was much talk of her status, boyfriend-wise. It's not like any of these guys are hot stuff, but Jesus! I felt like clearing my throat and saying, "Hello! Vagina in the room!" I'm sure they do not talk like that when I leave. The second incident came when I had to record my last two lines. They were both things I had recorded before but had to be redone, and they are actually the only funny lines I have in the thing. Because, remember, girls aren't funny. Well, on both lines, DS ruined my first, most awesome takes, by busting out laughing. He was so shocked and amazed that I was actually funny that he couldn't help himself. As if the entire time we've been recording, I'd been fucking up lines that were comedy gold, and finally managed to pull something decent out of my ass. So the next time you think it would be fun to be the only girl in a room full of guys, remember this cautionary tale. And remember, Sandy says, "Turkey is m'm m'm good!" 9:54 PM - 15 March 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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